Lent. Again.
Still humming a clinging scrap of Christmas,
still squinting through the bright winter light
bouncing off the shining gifts of Epiphany,
suddenly the wind shifts and you get a face full of
Ashes. Deep sighs and ashes and those somber words
no one likes to say or hear, those words that make you
think of all those friends and relatives who
were swallowed by history far, far too suddenly
and too soon,
those words that taunt you, making you wonder
if the 25-year warranty on your new gizmo or thingamabob
is just so much paper irony
or a chuckle from heaven.
Remember that you are dust.
Ashes and dust. And let me just mark it here
on your forehead so you don’t forget, right here
where all the world will see it and
the well-meaning busybodies in the grocery store
will awkwardly try to do you the favor
of letting you know that there is
a crossing smudge of mortality on your face.
Lent. Again.
Forty days, not counting Sundays,
of wondering about wandering
in deserts of every kind,
of negotiating multi-level interchanges from one
high road to another,
inching along on thoroughfares
that never allow their advertised speed,
forty days to be mindful of inattentiveness,
forty days to ponder why a fast goes so slowly.
Forty days to unpack and weigh the stuff you carry,
to gingerly avoid jagged edges
as you sort through, evaluate and discard because
you have begun to learn the wisdom
of traveling light or simply
because your legs and your soul
are not as strong as they once were
and why take a risk of
tripping before your time and
falling face first into the dust and ashes?
Lent. Again.
Forty days of all things tempting and tempting all things,
forty days of analyzed appetites, considered cravings,
delusions diluted and dispensed,
forty days to wonder if you have spent your life
constructing a coffin or creating a chrysalis,
forty days bedeviled by the seductive suggestion
to do and be merely good
when the broken heart of heaven is
spending its last erg of strength
and last drop of blood
to trudge uphill
and endure the messy,
agonizing business
of making you new.
Lent. Again.
Lent may come after Christmas, but of course, without it there would be no Christmas. So, as you signal us at the start, Steve, this is a necessarily blunt meditation. These words in particular struck me: “Forty days to wonder if you have spent your life constructing a coffin or creating a chrysalis.”
LikeLike